| The end. |
[08 Nov 2005|10:56am] |
He was working through college on my grandpa's farm
I was thirsting for knowledge and he had a car, yeah,
I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child,
one restless summer we found love growing wild
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path, its
Funny how those memories they last
Like strawberry wine,seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love was bittersweet
but Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
I still remember when thirty was old
My biggest fear was September when he had to go
A few cards and letters and one long distance call
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall
But year after year I come back to this place
Just to remember the taste
Of strawberry wine, seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love was bittersweet
but Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
The fields have grown over now
Years since they've seen a plow
There's nothing time hasn't touched
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence
I've been missing so much
yeah
Like strawberry wine, seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love was bittersweet
but Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
I can't write in this journal anymore. I have a new one ohohvegas. Add it.
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| HAHHA |
[31 Oct 2005|11:36am] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) xporphyria's Halloween party:
c0rnergirl dressed as the Archbishop of Old Thornton.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwww dressed as a new superhero: Arch- Savage.
facethemirrorx dressed as Kurt Cobain.
fareykisses dressed as a Level 6 sorcerer.
heartlessless dressed as your father.
herretribution dressed as a Idaho CommunicationsCorporation employee.
hit_the_switch dressed as something locked, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
kashmirbones dressed as Herbert Hoover.
losertothemax dressed as the main character of "Das Boot", though it looked more like a new superhero: Colossal Comet.
myke360 dressed as a moose.
shake_it_doctor dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Dynamic Samurai.
sir_carson dressed as a bottle of xeppmax.
timpanik dressed as a ocean discharge, though it looked more like Optimus Prime.
wite_out gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Greasy Stinkerbuns".
xerocm dressed as the Gallant Power Ranger.
yourhatekills dressed as the King of Albania.
Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created with phpNonsense
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| I found a liquid cure for my landlocked blues. |
[28 Oct 2005|11:21pm] |
I haven't written a real journal entry in a long time. The leaves might have changed, but I am still constant.
Today I got behind a driver with a bumper sticker that said "MARRIAGE=man+woman". How could something so trivial be so important to someone? What kind of people are we raising? I wanted to cut her off, but I knew that would change nothing.
I've been doing a lot of thinking here recently regarding my future. I've been searching high and low, far and wide for a quick & easy & inexpensive solution to my indecision; when the answer came to me through my loyal companion Sara: sometimes what you want is not so easy to obtain. I'm going to get loans and go to Watkins. It's what I wanted to do in the first place. Why waste my time behind unhappy just because I don't want to be in debt. I'm in debt to so many other things that aren't monetarial, why not that too? When I start Watkins in fall of 2006, I will simply cut my work days down to friday & saturday. By then I should be working with my mom at her ex-boss's ebay business.
It will all work out.
Jeff said I've changed. I have, but I'm working on it. I don't like it-so I'm doing something about it.
Thats my mind today.
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[27 Oct 2005|10:25pm] |
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I found myself again today.
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[20 Oct 2005|12:26am] |
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It's cool when people get onto your AIM account. For real. It's even cooler when your boyfriend doesn't have time for you on your only days off.
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| shit |
[13 Oct 2005|03:43pm] |
Lindydactyl
Date: Oct 12, 2005 11:09 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: No Subject
Body:
I dont know what to say. Im sorry if i was a bitch. It just made me really pissed to think that you were supposed to be my best friend and you didnt even call me on my bday. If you say you did then i guess i believe you, even though it probablly doesnt matter now. I probablly couldve handled it in a better way but truthfully it seemed like ever since we started the band you kinda replaced me with Sara. i dont have anything against Sara, it just seemed like we werent as close as we youst to be and that kinda added to why i was already upset. but anywayz i just wanted to say that cause i think its pretty fucking ridiculous that such a little thing as that has ended our friendship .
god dammit
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[12 Oct 2005|01:46pm] |
I have an idea for all of my friends on here to participate in. All of us have to post pictures of us from the past 3 years to present on our journal in chronological order so we can all see how much we've changed.
DO IT.
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| This shit is bananas |
[03 Oct 2005|11:20am] |
So Saturday night, me, sara & dusti hung out. We went to walmart and waffle house & then we all stayed the night at my house. It was weird.
I really miss Jeff.
Friday at school some douche stole my binder from a classroom cause he thought it was some other girls. I probably wont ever see it again. You know, and all the shit in it; like my school work, syllabuses, assignments, essays...etc.
I think I'm going to drop out of college & just work full time at the nursing home so I can buy a new car & eventually a house. School makes me cry.
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| Illumination for a lesser kind |
[30 Sep 2005|12:00pm] |
Standing there, against the ledge, I gazed out upon the lonely sunset; soft, icy and resonating. It was hovering above the river-front trees, almost as if it was protecting them from the dark of night. I couldn’t help but notice the electric rhythm that coursed through the trunks, leaves and branches. They were seducing the sun into hypnosis until it finally fell fast asleep.
I staggered down the adjoining stairs, gripping the concrete wall beside me. It felt like a cat scraping it’s tongue up against my hand, to show it’s appreciation for feeding it. I sunk down against the sandpaper wall and lifted my head back.
The cool air reeked of dead fish, urine and lies. No one walked by me. Not a single couple, dressed in sweaters for the season, out for a walk on a crisp autumn night. There was no man jogging past me, tripping over my feet, only to pretend it was my fault he didn’t see them. I could almost see his walkman that adorned his ears in the most fashionable manner. But none of these people were there; it was just me and my soul reaching out for the sky.
I wanted to go searching for those lovers and the jogging man. So I pulled myself up against the wall and ventured down the hidden walkway. Night had finally made it’s mark upon the world. He was king now, and I was merely a beggar, thirsting for water in his merciless kingdom.
My eyes opened wide to the thick black with only the smug lamp-posts to light my way. No stars tonight; the dark has overrun the kingdom. I was trying to fathom how the bricks embedded into the path, below me, can form such an angular pattern; so many lines and intersections that really have no place to go.
Further down the walkway was a concrete bench that did not look welcoming. One of those self-righteous lamp posts was placed in a ruling position atop the bench. I was not about to be made a fool by something that can’t even emit it’s own light. He doesn’t see the lie he is living, just like the rest of them. Just like everyone.
I can’t remember what made me decide upon a carefully-put-together swing as my final resting point, but it was a good decision. It was a two-seater; probably designed for those lost lovers. The chair was made from a sturdy metal covered in a thick green plastic. It might not have been comfortable, but it still gave me this indescribable warmth.
The dark started to surround me and swallow me whole, but I re-fixed my gaze upon that spot where the sun had fought against the hypnosis of the trees. They were much darker now. They too, had to sleep. The wandering water carried driftwood along down the river, only to get caught along a bank somewhere. Perhaps I was this driftwood, floating down the river, getting caught in all sorts of thickets and sand dunes, only to squirm my way out again when the current was stronger.
I wanted to sit on this lumpy, uncomfortable swing forever, but the sky was calling to me again.
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| For all you geeks like me out there. |
[22 Sep 2005|11:44pm] |
Fall Children
As the cries start to penetrate still air.
This day we celebrate
The wait now ends.
From four corners smoke plumes into a reddened sky.
[Woah, oh. Woah, oh]
In the face of latern light, tonight, my destiny flies.
[Woah, oh. Woah, oh oh oh!]
Chorus:
This day so hallowed, This day so hallowed,
from here to forever its will I will follow.
[This day so hallowed, this day so hallowed]
Tonight will come to life.
Deadened branches stirred by whispers in the wind.
[Woah, oh. Woah, oh]
Fall children fill the streets at dusk, at last, it all will begin.
[Woah, oh. Woah, oh oh oh!]
This day so hallowed,
This day so hallowed,
from here to forever its will I will follow.
[This day so hallowed, this day so hallowed]
Tonight will come to life.
Oh, I know. I know. I kno-ooo-oow!
I know. I kno-ooo-oow!
YEAH!
Fall Children!
This day so hallowed,
This day so hallowed,
from here to forever its will I will follow.
[This day so hallowed, this day so hallowed]
Tonight will come to Life
[Woah, oh oh oh!]
To Life!
[Woah oh oh.]
Third Season
Can you feel the pulse?
Can you feel the heat rising from below?
Can you feel the energy? It's gaining strength, oh so slowly
But I'll wait...I'll wait...till the seasons change.
Why wait?...Why wait?... till the fall comes.
(Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Ohhh. And I'll say..
I'll give you nothing but a mirthless laugh.
Ohhh.
Can you see the signs?
Can you sense the changing of the winds?
Can you sense the stillness in the air?
Calm will remain...oh so shortly.
But I'll wait... I'll wait... till the seasons change.
Why wait?...Why wait?... till the fall comes.
(Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Ohhh. And I'll say..
I'll give you nothing but a mirthless laugh.
Ohhh. And I'll say..
Gonna take you by... Gonna take you by...
Gonna take you by surprise as it rises.
Ohhh.. (Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey)
Ohhh. And I'll say..
I'll give you nothing but a mirthless laugh.
Ohhh. And I'll say..
Whoa! Whoa!
Gonna take you by surprise
Whoa! Whoa! Ohhhhh...........
Malleud Maleficarum
Open my eyes as I submerge
and I won't deny what I've been since birth.
I'll die drowned by your standards.
Breathe in the life of the summmer's death as the orange
and red breathe their first breath,
so welcome as they're burning through.
We all begin to burn.
Autumn's flame dance's in my eyes
Set alight for all we've learned.
My ashes falling.
My skin is singed but it heals my heart
and with glowing pride I'll wear my scars.
I'm honored by your hatred.
Leaves fall we arise again,
and the end impending,
it will begin.
So welcome as it's burning through.
Ashes fall and I'm rising up again. Ashes fall.
Ashes fall. Ashes fall as we all arise.
&&&&&&&&
When September Ends
Summer has come and passed,
the innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.
Like my father's come to pass,
seven years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
becoming who we are.
As my memory rests,
but never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.
Summer has come and passed,
the innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.
Ring out the bells again,
like we did when spring began.
Wake me up when September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
becoming who we are.
As my memory rests,
but never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.
Summer has come and passed,
the innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.
Like my father's come to pass,
twenty years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.
Wake me up when September ends.
Wake me up when September ends.
Wake me up when September ends.
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| Down by the sea is where you drown your scars |
[21 Sep 2005|02:57pm] |
So my first day at the Palmyra Health Center made me want to throw up, pass out & sleep all at the same time. It's pretty sad when you go & resubmit applications to everywhere after the first day at a job. I can deal with helping people eat, making sure they don't run off, helping them change, & just all around tending to them. The only thing I cannot deal with is bathing a fully grown man & washing out his uncircumsized weiner. Like I told Sara, I am a strong person. But I have a limit. & that happens to be it.
I skipped out of math today cause it sucks & is pointless to be in there. It's just a waste of my time that could be spent adding random people to Rhymes With Vegas's myspace.
I am going to hang out with Jeffers tonight. It should be fun.
I woke up this morning at 5 to pee & everyone was awake. Mom was like "I saw a guy walking own ftcamp blvd yesterday that I thought looked like Jeff. I looked again & realized it was him. What was he doing?" I told her that his mile reading thing was at 98999 & he didn't want it to go to 99999 so he just turned off his car in a parking lot & walked to where he needed to go. My boyfriend is amazing \m/
I'm pretty tired resulting from a lack of sleep.
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[18 Sep 2005|10:24pm] |
[Unknown LJ tag]
ignore the light area in the middle. that was just from the flash.
i have rosey cheeks :/
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[15 Sep 2005|03:09pm] |
Yesterday was a weird day. I got the job at the nursing home, lindy accused me of being a terrible horrible friend, i got out of school early andddthats about it. Today I lost the gas cap to my car cause I'm dumb, class took forever, it rained really bad & i got soaked coming back to my car, &&&& our phone is shut off. Yay for life!
Tonight I'm supposed to hang out with Mary, but I don't know if that's going to happen Tomorrow I have to be at the nursing home at exactly 8:30am. I really don't want a job. I was there for 3 hours last night & still could barely deal with it. Its not a bad job, it's just sad & I get negative vibes from the hallway I was on. I mean, naturally, a nursing home isn't going to be a charming place, but I dunno. I think I'm going to try to find a different job soon after I start working there because I hate being surrounded by negative energy.
I've felt like I'm going to puke all day.
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[13 Sep 2005|07:18pm] |
I pretty much got the job at the nursing home.
I'll be working tues, thurs, sat, & sun from 3-11.
I will be making roughly 200$ a week.
I will only really need 50$ a week for gas.
Jeff isn't really on my side of that whole Allie/Sadie shit
I don't care though.
I need to lose 70 lbs.
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| OH & |
[11 Sep 2005|12:35am] |
redvelvetcaliber: so we're gonna start a club
redvelvetcaliber: called
redvelvetcaliber: 'kill the dumbfuckers of clarksvegas'
redvelvetcaliber: and i dont think i have to say what we'd do in the club
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[11 Sep 2005|12:29am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 predatory |
] |
A narrative of soul against soul
To the wounded:
I have seen the self image
they've forced you to reduce to shattered glass,
with the only remaining value lying in it's jagged edges.
But the few who warrant waking for await their recognition.
No fear of death but with fear of life,
your weakness kills everyone.
So live.
Angels for everyone.
For no lack of searching I can't seem to find one.
Angels in everyone.
What of all their promises?
Can't seem to find much more than lies.
Angels in anyone.
A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Before I'd lay me down to rest,
I'd throw away everything to live.
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[07 Sep 2005|09:42pm] |
So lindy just left me a blog comment that said something like "you should pull your head out of your own ass & stop being so selfish and a little more considerate. thanks for IMing braxton. i appreciate it."
CAN I GET A BIG GIANT WTF???
yeah i'm a selfish bitch. i spent a whole day making my best friend a giant birthday card only to call her house & find out she moved to new york without any warning. then I IM her boyfriend to ask if he knew what the hell was going on & he didn't know. sounds to me like i'm not the selfish one, maybe?
I'm just really confused. I saw that she posted a comment & I expected it to be a "hey sorry for leaving without telling you" comment. no NO...she's calling me rude things.
i just deleted it. i really can't deal with her anymore.
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